The most important thing I've learned since learning how to read...

Simply put, biblical truth is not dependent on my feelings I spent many years thinking that God was purposely avoiding me. I thought it was because I didn't want HIM bad enough, or perhaps for the right reason. I needed Him. I remember thinking years ago "I want to be wanted, needed is good but wanted is better". I thought perhaps God was avoiding me because I was trying to want Him because I needed Him so much. I figured it was hopeless, I'd never get it right. Hopeless or not though I kept trying because I really, really needed Him. Every time I couldn't feel Him I felt farther and farther away and even more alone. After eight years of wandering aimlessly He has brought me out of the wilderness. PRAISE THE LORD! Now, I'm working on it but I have not read the whole Bible yet. Can anyone tell me, all those guys and camels that wandered through the wilderness, were they alone? Didn't they enjoy God's company through the sand storms? Going out on a limb I'm gonna say yes, God went with everyone He ever sent out. He never said I'll see ya on the other side, good luck my child. Apparently He didn't say that to me either. He was right there with me the whole time. Every time I cried feeling desperate and alone He was right there with me.....protecting me, sometimes from myself. BUT I didn't know it , if you told me I never, ever would have believed you. In the course of 8 years I felt many things but I did not feel God. I felt alone, terribly depressed most of the time, worthless, unloved, ignored, hopeless. I went to church and felt dirty and guilty so I stopped going. None of the things I felt reflect God. Turns out they were all lies planted in my mind so well I was convinced that I came up with them on my own. That is the "atomic bomb" of spiritual warfare. The devil, the father of lies tricked me into believing that I was the problem. I was not the problem, I was the P.O.W. and the truth really did set me free! It is imperative that we all realize that we are at war. We are constantly under attack, anything and anyone can be used as a weapon at anytime. So what do we do? How do we know what is true and what isn't? I found the answer in 2ND Corinthians, starting in chapter 10 verse 3. It reads..."For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. for the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments in every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, BRINGING EVERY THOUGHT TO CAPTIVITY INTO THE OBEDIENCE OF CHRIST. and being ready to punish all disobedience when your obedience is fulfilled". It is a constant attack so it must be a constant effort. So when I have a negative thought (which I still get every single day, lots and lots of them, all shapes and sizes) I say out loud, (because the devil can't read my mind) though sometimes it has to be a whisper "that is not true, it's a lie get away from me you ugly devil". Then I use his icky lie to make myself smile. I picture a tiny red devil shooting a fiery dart at me and just in the nick of time a tiny prison - bar - like box closes around the dart (which is the lie) and the devil looks at his empty dart bag and disappears defeated. I laugh and thank God for the power of His truth. The Bible calls faith a shield and His word a sword. I believe it means that literally. We must have faith in the Bible. Believe that what it says is true even if it doesn't line up with your feelings. It's your feelings that are questionable, FOR THEY MAY NOT BE YOUR OWN. Here is some truth you can trust: Hebrews 13:5 God said "Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you" If you have accepted Christ as your saviour and King you are never alone. If you feel alone that feeling is a lie. Take that lie captive into the obedience of Christ. Take away the enemy's weapons. Defeat him in Jesus name. Say that verse out loud. Say "God says He will never leave me. I am not alone" say "By the power of JESUS (who already defeated the devil) I command you devil take your lonely lie and leave!" That is using God's word as a sword. The devil will flee. Here is some more, Mark 9:23 Jesus said " If you can, believe. Everything is possible for him who believes". Next time you feel inadequate and worry that you are not good, strong,smart, whatever enough quote Paul - out loud so the enemy can hear your faith, say "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" (Phil 4:13). "I'm not blank enough" is a lie. You can see it's a lie because Jesus says all things are possible. It's a fiery dart, use your faith in Gods word as a shield. Block the lie, watch the devil flee, and then laugh at him in Jesus name! It's okay to enjoy the authority we have in Jesus over the devil. When we use it I assure you My Jesus smiles. Here is a really important one... Ephesians 2:8 says " For it is by grace (unmerited Divine assistance) that you have been saved, through FAITH and this is not from yourselves. It is the gift of God". It is your BELIEF in God's word that saves you. You must understand that faith is not something that can "happen" to you. Faith is very simply a choice. No matter how much you pray God will not "give it to you". Sure, He may give you obstacles to strengthen the faith you already have, but the choice to believe Him has to come from you. Use your free will and choose to believe Him. That is why the reward is so great, it is not always easy to believe with out FEELING. It took me 12 years as a Christian to understand this. I believe Jesus did not die just to save us from an eternity in hell. He also saved us from experiencing hell on earth. He saved us from the devils lies, from feelings that are not our own. He gave us weapons to defeat the attacker. Our job is to store Gods word in our hearts and use it, it is our arsenal. I have so much more to share with you but I doubt you want to spend an hour reading my blog. (but if you do please let me know : ) ) So please tune in next time where I will discuss (in 300 words or less-maybe) that wonderful peace which surpasses all understanding. I thank God at least once a day for peace. I can't wait to tell you all about it! Grab your shield and your sword, and watch out for darts. They are coming whether you choose to see them or not. Be blessed my friends! I love you. --Princess Jen